There are not many people who know how to eloquently express pain. I am terrible at it. But DMX had a way of making pain feel a little less painful. He didn’t hide from it. You felt his pain, you heard it, it was deep & if you’ve ever felt that deep soul crushing pain, you could relate. It was like he felt your pain too. Like he was with you, like he understood. We don’t have to have similar backgrounds to know how painful this world can be. It will eat away at you. It will change you. It will make you forget who you are and who you’ve always been. You’ll feel alone even surrounded by those who love you.
I hate that he felt any of that. I hate that any of us have to feel that. It comes in so many ways, shapes and forms. I hate that his pain started at such a young age. That he was thrown into the world so young. And I know he struggled with those feelings. Because we all know the worst part is sometimes you’ll even feel guilty for feeling sad, being depressed, hurting when it’s not your fault. He shared his pain with us. Vulnerable. Unfiltered. Uncensored. He let us in and now so many of us don’t feel alone. So many of us know that we aren’t the only ones who experience that kind of pain.
As he got older, we saw a shift which let us know that things can get better. He let us know that the pain doesn’t last and how to find joy in it. He let us know that we are all God’s children so we should love who we are. I found comfort in that. As someone who tends to fuck up, someone who gets called crazy, emotional, someone who has a temper. I appreciated his candidness because it helped me see that I’m a beautiful mess & that’s okay because I’m trying everyday to be better. I love him because he’s always been him and I feel that because imma always be me. Just ya know maybe getting a little wiser, trying to make better decisions but still human & still God’s child regardless.
I pray for peace over his family, friends, loved ones. I thank him for being that voice for the angry, the hurt, the broken, the passionate ones. The misunderstood like you and me. He didn’t have to be. That’s what makes him beautiful, powerful and his legacy everlasting. Thank you DMX. Rest in Power.
